A Second Birthday In Heaven

Today you would have been 32, yet it is your second birthday in heaven. You are the most incredible man I have ever known and as I told you often, I would follow you anywhere, because you lead so well. You were the most amazing servant hearted husband, intentional daddy, and wonderful brother, son and friend. You were the cleanest man I have ever met, you could sing, and dance crazy (except at weddings). You brought laughter to every room you entered, and a smile that could take my breath away. You were an introvert to my extrovert, the perfection (some call it OCD) to my production, and complimented my strengths and challenged me on my weaknesses. You were content in what you had, even though in this world’s eyes, we had nothing but love 😍. You used to say how much you loved the fact that I was such a low maintenance woman, yet I would always say the same about you, except I would call it contentment, you were content. Even when we only ate meat once a week or you giving up your affair with tide detergent because of our newly wed budget you were so sweet about it. 

Your love for the Lord was the most authentic one I have ever seen. You were so real, down to earth yet intelligent, handsome, and godly. You could write a document that made you look like a lawyer (oh and by the way did you know a law library is named after you now because of this? You would be shocked) yet get on a 5th graders level and make silly jokes till you were crying of laughter. Your humility was one of the most attractive things about you and I have still to this day have never met a man more humble and grateful to God for what he had. Thank you for challenging me every day of your life and of your death. I am so glad God chose me to do life with you and even through death uses you to challenge me. I miss the way you knew me in every way and loved me just the way I was. I have never felt more beautiful than when I was in your presence, and I’ve never laughed harder then when I was with you. I miss who I was when I was with you, I miss looking at you with such adoration, now it is just through pictures. I told you often how glad I was that I did not have to be a parent by myself and how blessed I was to do it with you, because you were just that good. You always knew what to say and would support and encourage me through the long days of motherhood. I miss your partnership, I miss your support but most of all I miss your friendship.  You often told me that we would never have had kids if you had to go through a pregnancy or that we would have starved if you had to cook 😜😜and we would laugh and say we made a great team. Thank you for being my best cheerleader, my best friend, my lover, my confidant and the most amazing daddy to our children. As I told you often, I still can’t believe I got Patrick Price. 😊You succeeded at everything you did because you sought God’s will and worked hard even when it was discouraging. Thank you for fighting for us always. You were not perfect and I know that, but you were perfect for me, and God was gracious in putting us together. 

When you died, so many dreams we had died with you, like the baby girl we always wanted that would have your beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous smile, that I would picture you holding and melting your heart. I found the box we were saving of girl stuff the other day, a reminder of that dream that will never be, and I donated it to someone who needs it. Oh, how that hurts my heart. She would have been beautiful and cherished because she was yours. We had such hopes for marriage ministry plans and ways to disciple the boys. Oh, what wonderful dreams we had! You were the best man to dream with, and I loved being snuggled up with you gazing at that cute smirk of yours talking about what our life would be like one day. You had the best heart even if in this world it failed. The boys and I miss you everyday, I see you in them and I pray that God raises them up to be just like their amazing daddy.

Nathan may not have any memories with you but he says dada all day long and I know you must be smiling in heaven over that sweet spicy boy of ours and saying he got his stubbornness from his Mama like you usually said about our boys 😜😜😉. They may have some looks like their mama but their personalities and whit are all you, as mommy wants it to be. You would think this stage of life is so crazy and exhausting, yet absolutely hilarious in every way. I wish we could lay in bed like we used to and talk about the funny things the kids did that day and brainstorm on how to approach discipline and sanity haha.

The boys and I wonder every day what you’re doing in heaven and when we will all be reunited again. We are trying to run our race well but I have way less dance in my step, laughter in my heart, and song in my mouth these days.  I know one day it will return and I know you would want that joy to remain. Grief is a price paid for a love so deep, and my love is deep for you. I will love you forever and will always miss you and the life we had together.

The boys and I are trying our best to walk God’s calling of our lives to His glory even when it’s hard and unfortunately it means a life without you. But we trust and we hold on, we hope and we look forward to eternity. We are pressing on and looking up when we have no strength to stand. Can’t wait to talk with you about the eternal weight of glory one day in heaven that this suffering is producing. I know this pain is worth it, I know Christ is worth it and I know you are worth every tear. My heart aches to see you again, but we are doing this thing called life and we are going to thrive again one day soon. Until that wonderful day when we are reunited, know your life will always be celebrated and you will always be remembered, my love. I know you are having the best birthday in heaven, enjoying better food than even I could make you, although I will still claim that my food was your favorite like you would tell me with that adorable grin as you kissed me in the kitchen. I know you are hearing more affirmation from Christ than even I would have given you in those love notes I would write on this day every year. Words don’t even do you justice but at least I tried, I will never stop trying- Happy 32nd birthday baby!

Love Always,

Wifey