Holding Onto Hope

Hope- it’s what we live for and breath in. Hope- it’s what gets us up in the morning, when our bodies just want to give up and never see the light of day again. Hope- it’s what takes my thoughts from the grass beside my husband’s grave that imagines my grave and on it “she died from a broken heart” to seeing the scripture “God heals the broken hearted, His yoke is easy, His burden is light”. Hope- it’s what spurs me to write more of what God is doing and teaching us through pain when I just want to curl up in a ball and shut down. Hope- it’s what drives me to my knees in prayer when it gets really hard and the gut wrenching grief is upon me. Hope- it’s what turns my self pity thoughts to saving thoughts of Jesus and His mighty goodness in the pain. Hope- it’s what causes me to tell my boys that God has a very special plan for our lives even when I sometimes don’t have the faith to believe it will be better than what we had. Hope- it’s what causes me to turn from crying to dancing because I’m overwhelmed with the joy of the Lord as His spirit fills our home as we sing His praises. Hope- it’s looking at my baby and grieving over the fact he never knew his incredible daddy to thinking it’s amazing that all he will remember is the way God has been a Father to Him.

Hope- it’s the turning of my heart from the past to a future that is unknown yet is held in God’s hands. It’s trusting the Lord who is the great Author to write my family’s story however He chooses and knowing it will be good, because that’s how He always writes. He is the best storyteller, no matter what surprises or turns are thrown our way. It’s believing that goodness and mercy aren’t just something in the distance, they can be tasted and seen today because of Christ. It’s knowing He cares more about His story magnifying Jesus more than I do, so He will accomplish what concerns Him. And I, well I will just keep holding onto Hope, even when I’m weary and it hurts.